a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
