the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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