Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
