I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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