Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I love you. Go after that dick
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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