he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bring me that man meat
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
