Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
