I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
