sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
