Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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