Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
