I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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