I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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