They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
