i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
