Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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