I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
