JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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