if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
