I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize