Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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