you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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