Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
