I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
