Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
