Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
