I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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