you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
