fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
