I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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