I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
