i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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