I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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