After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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