I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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