i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
