She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
