Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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