I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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