i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
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okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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