He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
