u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
