am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
