Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
