I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
