Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
