I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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