you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
