Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
