I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
