How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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