i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
