We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize