but the lizard people decide everything anyway
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Of course I have a pirate flag
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
