he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize