Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
