you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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