Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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