i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
